Complete nutter

Before I launch into this anecdote, let me just say this. Plunket (in New Zealand) and Health Visitors (in the UK) do a fantastic and necessary job. We are extremely lucky to have these organisations provide the service to our children that they do so well and with such care and passion. However......

A couple of days ago a nurse rang to book an appointment for the twins to be measured, weighed and so on. The conversation on the phone kicked off as follows

Nurse: Hello, it's the nurse. How are you?

Me: Good, thanks

Nurse: Pardon?

Me: Good, thanks

Nurse: Pardon?

Me: GOOD, thanks

Nurse: Pardon?

Me: I'm sorry, did you ask how I was?

Nurse: Yes

Me: I said Good thanks

Nurse: Pardon?

Me: I'm very well, thanks for asking

Nurse: Oh sorry, there was a crackle on the line

I am filled with confidence in this nurse's ability to check the health of my baby daughters. Nevertheless we toddle down to the offices of the nurse. First job on the list is to measure the circumference of the babies' heads.

The nurse sits twin1 on her knee, wraps the tape measure round her head, squints to read it and exclaims "44cm."

We swap twins and she performs the same exercise on twin2. "41cm. Hmmm, maybe I should do twin1 again." She remeasures twin1 whose head has miraculously shrunk 3cm to be the same as her identical twin.

She then tells me "I keep wanting to call twin2 Sarah." I refrain from replying "well I want to call you a complete nutter but I respectfully keep with society's norm and refer to you by your given name. Please do my daughter the same favour."