Monday, 30 August 2010

Holding back the years

Having children and the concept of time are linked in the most extraordinary way. I have talked before about time and how it is awarded to you and taken away as your newborn baby morphs into something with legs and the ability to scurry round creating mischief.

This morning I was watching my three eat their breakfast. They scooped cereal into their little mouths, legs swinging under the table whilst giggling at each other. The lad was teaching twin1 how to say something appalling and they all looked happily crumpled and twinkly eyed after their night's sleep. I wanted the little scene to stretch on forever. The joy derived from observing your children living their lives cannot be overstated. At the same time as wanting time to stand still and keep my littlies as nearly two and nearly four year olds, I can't help but be excited about the future when they bring friends home, have hobbies, make choices and create the noise and laughter of a big family Christmas. I spent much of the twins' first year looking forward to them being able to walk and talk. You shouldn't wish any time away but it was hard to relish some of the endless arse and floor wiping.

At each stage there are wonderful moments. Hold these in the palm of your hand, whispy and ethereal. Whenever you wake in the night and worry or feel lonely, open your palm and let the golden memory warm you and chase away the demons.

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