Monday, 28 February 2011

My list

Now and then I enjoy pondering on the way my crap arm has got me off the hook from doing jobs I dislike (read more here). A couple of days ago a friend asked me what my arm prevented me from doing. I dug around in the cavernous and echoing depths of my grey matter and found my 'list'. Here it is:

1. I am only able to skydive in tandem as both arms are needed to guide the parachute down to an allocated landing spot.

2. I can merely stand in awe as kiwi boys scoff at poncy bottle openers and pluck the lid off a bottle of beer using whatever comes to hand; a lighter, the previous bottle of beer, a coin and so on.

I am ecstatic to report that this list has been halved. Being cheered on enthusiastically by my great friend, I have learnt how to lever off the lid of a bottle of beer using a bizarre system involving my right knee, the heel of my right hand and my healthy left hand. If you would like me to demonstrate my newfound ability I advise you to place your order for your second beer just as you open your first. You should also be unfazed by blood blisters.

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