Thursday, 14 April 2011

A lesson in idiocy - part 3

Fed up of squinting in the sunlight I took my sunglasses to an optician to be fixed.

'I wonder if you can help me? My two year old daughter put my sunglasses in the dishwasher and they have bent out of shape.'

Cue much eye rolling, chuckling, head shaking and chat about the 'terrible twos.' The optician heated up the plastic and remoulded my glasses. My eyes delighted in the shade.

Here's what really happened. A few weeks ago some friends came over on a Friday night for drinks. A glass of wine turned into a cocktail evening. We sloshed vodka into the blender with abandon and ever more inventive combinations of fruit. The husband's prize watermelons were whizzed up with fistfuls of mixed herbs, grapes were plucked from the vine at the back of the garden and spruced up with whatever sorry items I could find lurking at the bottom of the fruit bowl. My mixologist career peaked at around 1am then took a dive, landing me in my pit to snore off the effects. I awoke in the morning to a scene of sticky fruit gloop coating most of the kitchen. My sunglasses were buried under a sweet sludge of tangerine and peach so I chucked them in the dishwasher.

'Why on earth didn't you just rinse them under the tap you lazy toad?' I hear you cry. Well, my brain wasn't functioning with it's normal sparkle so I didn't foresee the physical change which heat brings about in plastic. Needless to say I didn't feel the urge to divulge the real root of the sunglasses incident to the optician and risk being labelled an idiot so instead I blamed my innocent little daughter.

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